Self-mutation (metaphorically)

Today I stood on the outside of my body and watched myself behave sadistically. Begging my ex-lover for details and pretending like he ever loved me. I asked him. I had been heaving questions at him for days, that I already knew the answers to. He never responded in full. So I begged, please please hurt me some more. Bust my lip this time. Draw blood. But he's not complying, not doing enough. Enough for me to say 'I'm finally done.' I imagined myself standing with my heart in my hands. My hands are extended toward him and he keeps turning his back to me.
*"You don't love me anymore, let's see how you like this song." -Daniel Caesar
* BTW, this is a great album.
*Which was introduced to me by him and I'm confident it was introduced to him by some chic as he tends to confuse his hoes.
* I wanted to see how small I could take this font.